It’s Not About You, It’s All About Them

As we go through life, there comes a time when you will receive criticism, nobody seems to escape it these days.

When you receive it from someone else, maybe at work, at home, from a friend, rather than take it personally rise above it and become aware and ask yourself:-

- Is this person experienced in the area you’re receiving a critique on? Are they really a mentor or someone with this particular ‘life experience’ to provide value and help to you? OR

- Are they someone who is coming from a ‘position of power’ and putting you down?

The thing to realise is that it is never about you, it’s ALWAYS their stuff. If someone is happy they will have great things to say, if not, they will spiral down and focus on the negatives. You’ve probably met people like this too haven’t you? You see as people our ‘egos’ tend to get in the way, and some people ‘don’t want to feel inferior’ around others, so they might ‘shoot’ them down.

Whatever is said though, look at it objectively and ask yourself is there anything I can learn from this and improve on.

So now you know all of this, the thing to do is to rise above it, show them compassion, love and see everything for how it really is.

Love Yourself First

To be compassionate towards others, we first have to be compassionate to ourselves.

Think about it for a second, do you ALWAYS say nice things to yourself, and treat yourself with respect as if you were your best friend, or do you tell yourself off when things don’t go to plan, or if you ‘messed’ up etc etc.

The trick is to pay attention to your own language, your internal self talk. Is it the kind of talk that’s damaging that you wouldn’t even treat your best friend that way. If yes, then STOP IT and treat yourself with some compassion instead.

For things to change YOU must change, and it starts with awareness. Practise being kind to yourself. Speak to yourself in an encouraging supportive way. Practise being your own best friend.

Then the next time someone criticises you, compassionately thank them for their observations without any resentment, staying emotionally unattached from the situation. It’s an art and an ongoing practice.

And remember

Wish It … Dream It … Do It!

Sue xo